What is Attachment?
John Bowlby’s Attachment Theory refers to a strong and long-lasting emotional bond between two individuals.
The framework for developing relationships and our expectations of others is set by the attachment system, which is conditioned by our past experiences, particularly with our primary caregivers, and remains with us well into adulthood.
According to Bowlby, attachment is a survival mechanism connected to evolution, that derived from our ancestors for their descendants to secure their safety and survival.
What are the Attachment Styles?
Anxious- A pattern of behavior characterized by a strong fear of abandonment and rejection, leading to a constant need for reassurance and external validation.
Avoidant- A pattern of behavior in relationships where a person tends to avoid emotional closeness, intimacy, and dependence on others.
Secure- A healthy pattern of relating to others characterized by trust, comfort with intimacy, open communication, and the ability to confidently express one’s needs and feelings.
Developed by Mary Ainsworth in the 1970’s during research called the “Strange Situation Study” in which Ainsworth examined young children and their mother’s interactions. According to the attachment theory, although we may be unaware of it as adults, we preserve (subconsciously) the memory of our relationship dynamics with our primary caregivers. As we age, our subconscious mind seeks out companions that resemble that connection. The conditioning of those relationships will be reflected in our attachment styles.
What is Anxious Attachment?
Often the outcome of an unorganized bonding experience with caregivers during childhood. Anxious attachment types are not only a result of inconsistent parenting. Traumatic experiences can also be a factor. This could include abusive or toxic relationships that regularly expose someone to inconsistent behaviors that cause anxiety or insecurity and form core wounds that become part of our sense of self or subconscious self-identity.
Our minds naturally want to keep us “safe” or “in the familiar”, but when “safe or familiar” aren’t presented as healthy this is where anxious attachment may start to grow and serve us in a not so safe way.
How do you heal your Anxious Attachment style?
Understanding what is going on in your mind and what might be preventing you from succeeding in your relationship dynamics is vital when trying to make positive changes in your life to move from Anxious to Secure attachment.
How can I help you?
My deep dive into Integrative Attachment Theory was my Aha moment, my own childhood and attachment issues resulted in me needing the answer on how to overcome, heal and experience life in a more productive way. As I studied and applied the tools to heal myself and understand my own limiting beliefs, I was being led by an even greater spirit to become an IAT coach, to counsel and provide the roadmap to others who also may be “stuck” or unsure on how to “do life different”.
Where do we begin?
The focus will be to create transformation in a 12-week personalized program in a results-oriented manner by:
A) Isolating & Reprogramming your Core Wounds & Fears
B) Assisting in Understanding & Communicating your own Needs & Expectations
C) Assisting in Tools for Emotional Pattern Regulation
D) Sharing & Creating Strategies for Healthier Coping Mechanisms & Boundaries
E) Supporting Healthier Forms of Communication
If you are in search of developing positive habits, improving relationships or desiring a deeper spiritual journey that an anxious attachment style may have been holding you back from, take control and reach out, schedule a session with me, and let me assist you with the knowledge and tools for you to experience fulfilling relationships with others and most importantly to SELF and Attach 2 You!
